9/25/02 10:35 - Almost a Rant, so we'll call it Rant # 1.5
Ahh, the glory that is West Wing. The wonders of moving events. Television shows, September 11, all the other sorrows and triumphs of human spirit and will clashing with the concepts of a formless malevolence. Every Goddamn thing seems to elict emotion in me these days. I'm so unstable. Hell, I was fighting back tears while watching Fantasia 2000! There isn't anything in there 'cept unbelievably lovely music tearing at my heart. Everything is demolishing my stablility. My circle of friends seems to be growing without me, dragging those close away and building a whole labyrinth of intrigue in its wake. I don't seem to connect with anyone anymore, or those that I do get even near their wavelength are too much drawn into their own issues and difficulties that I benefit none, nor do they. It sucks not being able to help people. Then we have the other issues weighing on me. My total lack of motivation. My evasion of nearly all info relevent to my life (more on this topic in Rant II, coming soon). Old friends are now distant new friends have their own circles, and I am left still without a girl. Isn't it great when you get told way way way after te fact that someone liked you, but are too pissed that you never reciprocated that they don't anymore. I always want to be like, I'm sorry I didn't see this cached amour but I usually have 1000's of things on my mine, please be a little more blatant with me, cause my record is less than perfect. I mean, the ones I do know I flirt with I'm not certain to what extent they reverb my feelings nor how well I'd ever be able to mesh with their own fscking circle. Friends are such obstacles sometimes. Then there's the ever-present issues of my brother and his problems, of which I know too little about to do anything 'cept cause harm, and too much to not worry. Plus his involvement in Debate does not mesh well with my Pure Unabsolved HATE of all things debate related. I seem to have totally diverged from the beginning topic here, but that's ok, because that's how I feel right now; off course and lost.
Perhaps emotional stability is overrated.
