It's irritating being bored; it's worse when you owned anti-boredum methods but do so no longer. If that statement made no sense, be glad you're an only child. Siblings are such major hassles, in my case, especially for the afformentioned reasons. Not counting the stuff they own(ed) that they can't find, here's the incomplete list of stuff I own(ed) and can't find. It's odd being bored enough to rant about what has caused me to be bored, but no where in the agreement I signed to get this chunk of web-space did I agree to make sense.
SNES- A good system, damn good still.
1) Wario Woods the best damn Puzzle game until Tetris Attack was created).
2) Final Fantasy III which is probally worth something these days, on top of the fact that I Love the game and can no longer play it. Both of these two are still with an girl who's now about 5-8 ex-girlfriends of my brother's in the past (depending on how you count repeats)
3) Bomberman -das uber party game, just ask Edmund. Far superior to Bomberman 2 which I do somehow have. The location of this one is still a mystery to me, though Ian is to blame for it's disappearance.
N64- Why did I ever buy this system anyways?
1) Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask - another awesome game that somehow Ian has made vanish, he's got a talent for doing that and I can't wait till I'm off as far away as possible from it.
Playstation-Now this is a worthy system, though it's got a crapload of unworthy games.
1) Front Mission 3- I've kept a tight reign on my games here, since they are far more fragile than the bulky console Nintendo crap ones. But I still lost this one. A fantastic RPG, and to make the loss much greater, one of great rarity (aka: hard to find and costly) and, even worse, I hadn't even beaten it yet!!! David's fault on this one, he doesn't have an answer to my asking of "where?"
CPU- System of the Shooter and RTS Gods, if only mine wasn't crap.
1) Red Faction- Hell yes to Geo-Mod? Technology. No more worrying about the damn red key, just blow a hole in the nearby wall. Not a very stable Multiplayer, but even those who cheat suck pretty badly. Hanging in the air so you can drop more rockets in a single jump is a nifty little hack, but it's just asking for a return rocket at the unmoving fool. David's to blame here as well, though alledgedly he at least "knows" where it's supposed to be.
2) Star Craft:Brood Wars- Should be somewhere in the house even, but Ian still managed to lose it when he took it out of the drive to put in the D&D 3rd edition character creator software CD (a major load of crap, but at least it's free crap when you buy the Player's Handbook). The whole Fscking fiasco is made worse because he put the disc in an AOL free disk metal tin instead of its own little nice CD case (which was right there) and because of the blasphemy he created. Warning, D&D related info incoming He was supposed to make a 1st level char. He instead made a Paly(1)/Wiz(1) w/ Cmbt casting and Wep Prof(Net) with 10,10,11,16,10,10 stats wearing full plate and dual weilding a gauntlet and a dart. Now of course he cannot find my precious Brood Wars, which is my sanity since I can't get a War III fix on my CrapAthalon 600.
Wednesday, September 25, 2002
?/?/02 My Powers of Information Evasion. Rant 02
Isn't technology wonderful? Thanks to it, any news is capable of being relayed through word of mouth, notes, announcements, television, radio, television, IM, Email, and everything else. Yet despite all this I manage to NEVER! learn anything until either the last minute, the minute of, or when it's too late. Case in point: National Honors Society. My Junior year I learned that the info was due at about, ohhh, about a week after they were due. Senior year I tried harder, got the info sooner. This time it was only the day that it was due. Deadlines aren't the only thing I never seem to know about. I've gotten tons and tons of phone where some friend or classmate of mine will demand irritably, "where are you?", inquisitioning me as to why I am not at some function or another, which I had not been informed of before this date. Or, as far more is the case, I will know the vaguest details of the event. For example, I'll be told what, and in some cases (rare indeed) even the where of the event, but not told when until perhaps 20 minutes before, and usually during some other constraining event, like dinner or relatives (see Rant #I). Sadly, this type of last minute notification also tends to run parallel to the fact that I'm rarely wanted to be in only one place. I rarely have any form of event to attend, save from a semi-regular work schedule, yet when an event surfaces, it often lies in driect conflict with at least one other event. So I'll go from having a free weekend to having four different places I need to be, and although each is probally less than a few hours long, they will invariably all overlap. Which makes being me soo much less amusing and so much more work. I'd really, honestly love to be in more than one place at once, but physics seems to be in stark opposition to that concept, and honest if I were gonna break a law of physics it'd be so I could fly; cause traffic sucks.
Isn't technology wonderful? Thanks to it, any news is capable of being relayed through word of mouth, notes, announcements, television, radio, television, IM, Email, and everything else. Yet despite all this I manage to NEVER! learn anything until either the last minute, the minute of, or when it's too late. Case in point: National Honors Society. My Junior year I learned that the info was due at about, ohhh, about a week after they were due. Senior year I tried harder, got the info sooner. This time it was only the day that it was due. Deadlines aren't the only thing I never seem to know about. I've gotten tons and tons of phone where some friend or classmate of mine will demand irritably, "where are you?", inquisitioning me as to why I am not at some function or another, which I had not been informed of before this date. Or, as far more is the case, I will know the vaguest details of the event. For example, I'll be told what, and in some cases (rare indeed) even the where of the event, but not told when until perhaps 20 minutes before, and usually during some other constraining event, like dinner or relatives (see Rant #I). Sadly, this type of last minute notification also tends to run parallel to the fact that I'm rarely wanted to be in only one place. I rarely have any form of event to attend, save from a semi-regular work schedule, yet when an event surfaces, it often lies in driect conflict with at least one other event. So I'll go from having a free weekend to having four different places I need to be, and although each is probally less than a few hours long, they will invariably all overlap. Which makes being me soo much less amusing and so much more work. I'd really, honestly love to be in more than one place at once, but physics seems to be in stark opposition to that concept, and honest if I were gonna break a law of physics it'd be so I could fly; cause traffic sucks.
9/25/02 10:35 - Almost a Rant, so we'll call it Rant # 1.5
Ahh, the glory that is West Wing. The wonders of moving events. Television shows, September 11, all the other sorrows and triumphs of human spirit and will clashing with the concepts of a formless malevolence. Every Goddamn thing seems to elict emotion in me these days. I'm so unstable. Hell, I was fighting back tears while watching Fantasia 2000! There isn't anything in there 'cept unbelievably lovely music tearing at my heart. Everything is demolishing my stablility. My circle of friends seems to be growing without me, dragging those close away and building a whole labyrinth of intrigue in its wake. I don't seem to connect with anyone anymore, or those that I do get even near their wavelength are too much drawn into their own issues and difficulties that I benefit none, nor do they. It sucks not being able to help people. Then we have the other issues weighing on me. My total lack of motivation. My evasion of nearly all info relevent to my life (more on this topic in Rant II, coming soon). Old friends are now distant new friends have their own circles, and I am left still without a girl. Isn't it great when you get told way way way after te fact that someone liked you, but are too pissed that you never reciprocated that they don't anymore. I always want to be like, I'm sorry I didn't see this cached amour but I usually have 1000's of things on my mine, please be a little more blatant with me, cause my record is less than perfect. I mean, the ones I do know I flirt with I'm not certain to what extent they reverb my feelings nor how well I'd ever be able to mesh with their own fscking circle. Friends are such obstacles sometimes. Then there's the ever-present issues of my brother and his problems, of which I know too little about to do anything 'cept cause harm, and too much to not worry. Plus his involvement in Debate does not mesh well with my Pure Unabsolved HATE of all things debate related. I seem to have totally diverged from the beginning topic here, but that's ok, because that's how I feel right now; off course and lost.
Perhaps emotional stability is overrated.
Ahh, the glory that is West Wing. The wonders of moving events. Television shows, September 11, all the other sorrows and triumphs of human spirit and will clashing with the concepts of a formless malevolence. Every Goddamn thing seems to elict emotion in me these days. I'm so unstable. Hell, I was fighting back tears while watching Fantasia 2000! There isn't anything in there 'cept unbelievably lovely music tearing at my heart. Everything is demolishing my stablility. My circle of friends seems to be growing without me, dragging those close away and building a whole labyrinth of intrigue in its wake. I don't seem to connect with anyone anymore, or those that I do get even near their wavelength are too much drawn into their own issues and difficulties that I benefit none, nor do they. It sucks not being able to help people. Then we have the other issues weighing on me. My total lack of motivation. My evasion of nearly all info relevent to my life (more on this topic in Rant II, coming soon). Old friends are now distant new friends have their own circles, and I am left still without a girl. Isn't it great when you get told way way way after te fact that someone liked you, but are too pissed that you never reciprocated that they don't anymore. I always want to be like, I'm sorry I didn't see this cached amour but I usually have 1000's of things on my mine, please be a little more blatant with me, cause my record is less than perfect. I mean, the ones I do know I flirt with I'm not certain to what extent they reverb my feelings nor how well I'd ever be able to mesh with their own fscking circle. Friends are such obstacles sometimes. Then there's the ever-present issues of my brother and his problems, of which I know too little about to do anything 'cept cause harm, and too much to not worry. Plus his involvement in Debate does not mesh well with my Pure Unabsolved HATE of all things debate related. I seem to have totally diverged from the beginning topic here, but that's ok, because that's how I feel right now; off course and lost.
Perhaps emotional stability is overrated.
1/1/02 - Not an Auspicious Start (5:11 PM)
Ahh, that all too familiar feeling. The white-hot, dark, boiling rage that flows up from within and heightens my volume and possesses my tongue. But not the dramatic emphasis of the melodramatic bardic prose but rather the darker side of speech. It's not truly a massive injustice but I've been stripped of my friends of all of my gaming friends (gathered together in total for the first time in several months) to visit and dine with family who I have seen about thirty times too many in the past month of so. Those two components are aggravating, but to further elevate my rage, my infernal tormentor and antagonist (as well as, I concede, protector and genesis) tried to reverse the blame with "If only you had had your cell phone on, we could have called and you could have said no." AS IF! We all know that even if I had said no, the response would've been "too bad, you're going anyways." And I had mentioned negatively beforehand towards the notion of more family time. In fact anyone who couldn't see that I, or my brother, were sick of togetherness is a complete moron who has no perception and even less capability to reason at all! So here I set, distancing myself in the parlor, storehouse of fragile memories, and drink the only thing I could find. A pitiful concoction of that is one part diet ginger ale and two parts flat root beer. The rage has now had more than half an hour for its slow burn to encompass, singe, and pass through and beyond my total being. The aftermath is never pretty. But what can I do to vent?! Nothing! I don't have something to beat upon, my darker words cause only scorn upon myself and further taint to my muse spirit. I have no one to hold me and lend me sweet nothings in an airy voice to be returned tenfold by myself unto when mine own heart for such words has lost its present ailment. And to elevate this entire substantiation to the next level of tension, no one has gotten much sleep. A fact which my mother feels the need to inform everyone of. Gah, this drink tastes awful, and I bet the diet ingredients are just a further material poison to add to all the other maledictions wreaked upon my body, mind, and soul. And the fantastic top of the cake is that my Learner's permit has expired because for some interesting reason the Fscking DMV's permit's Until entry doesn?t represent when it expires but the Expired entry does. Now, what can't be understood by the mere explanation there is that the whole apparently useless Until entry is bolded in huge letters at the bottom of the card while the vital Expired entry is a tiny mark that is very subtle and totally inconspicuous. I'm no longer even reading what I write to see if what I write even parallels what I want to say. I'm too tired and too fscking tense to pay any mind at all. So instead I need to find a way to unleash this as perhaps a warning to others that today or tomorrow I am volatile or perhaps as a memento to myself so I can recall...recall what? Oh I surrender. I am not even thinking strait even longer. White and black are no longer even minor distinctions. I've too much a burden through my own procrastination and self internment of emotions and too often borne witness to the trials of those around me to even hope to rid myself of the cross that I bear. Ah, what I'd give...to just sluff this weight of emotions and rebirth myself in a cold and heartless world where lust replaces love and the 7 deadly sins replace the 10 commandments. There's more but I shan't let my pitiful self- burden others further at the present.
Ahh, that all too familiar feeling. The white-hot, dark, boiling rage that flows up from within and heightens my volume and possesses my tongue. But not the dramatic emphasis of the melodramatic bardic prose but rather the darker side of speech. It's not truly a massive injustice but I've been stripped of my friends of all of my gaming friends (gathered together in total for the first time in several months) to visit and dine with family who I have seen about thirty times too many in the past month of so. Those two components are aggravating, but to further elevate my rage, my infernal tormentor and antagonist (as well as, I concede, protector and genesis) tried to reverse the blame with "If only you had had your cell phone on, we could have called and you could have said no." AS IF! We all know that even if I had said no, the response would've been "too bad, you're going anyways." And I had mentioned negatively beforehand towards the notion of more family time. In fact anyone who couldn't see that I, or my brother, were sick of togetherness is a complete moron who has no perception and even less capability to reason at all! So here I set, distancing myself in the parlor, storehouse of fragile memories, and drink the only thing I could find. A pitiful concoction of that is one part diet ginger ale and two parts flat root beer. The rage has now had more than half an hour for its slow burn to encompass, singe, and pass through and beyond my total being. The aftermath is never pretty. But what can I do to vent?! Nothing! I don't have something to beat upon, my darker words cause only scorn upon myself and further taint to my muse spirit. I have no one to hold me and lend me sweet nothings in an airy voice to be returned tenfold by myself unto when mine own heart for such words has lost its present ailment. And to elevate this entire substantiation to the next level of tension, no one has gotten much sleep. A fact which my mother feels the need to inform everyone of. Gah, this drink tastes awful, and I bet the diet ingredients are just a further material poison to add to all the other maledictions wreaked upon my body, mind, and soul. And the fantastic top of the cake is that my Learner's permit has expired because for some interesting reason the Fscking DMV's permit's Until entry doesn?t represent when it expires but the Expired entry does. Now, what can't be understood by the mere explanation there is that the whole apparently useless Until entry is bolded in huge letters at the bottom of the card while the vital Expired entry is a tiny mark that is very subtle and totally inconspicuous. I'm no longer even reading what I write to see if what I write even parallels what I want to say. I'm too tired and too fscking tense to pay any mind at all. So instead I need to find a way to unleash this as perhaps a warning to others that today or tomorrow I am volatile or perhaps as a memento to myself so I can recall...recall what? Oh I surrender. I am not even thinking strait even longer. White and black are no longer even minor distinctions. I've too much a burden through my own procrastination and self internment of emotions and too often borne witness to the trials of those around me to even hope to rid myself of the cross that I bear. Ah, what I'd give...to just sluff this weight of emotions and rebirth myself in a cold and heartless world where lust replaces love and the 7 deadly sins replace the 10 commandments. There's more but I shan't let my pitiful self- burden others further at the present.
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