For those of you who have been wondering, Tales of Destiny II is the name of the insofar nameless Playstation RPG. It consists of three main characters and a revolving fourth: the main character's name eludes me at the moment, its 4 letters and has an "ie" or "ei" combo in it. He is capable of using either axes, swords, or lances/polearms and fights either with thrusts or slashes (or the logical derived Slash+Thrust or Thrust+Slash, etc combos). His companion is Farah, who is both the unarmed combat character (having "Foot" and "Hand" skills) who doubles as the only character (so far) with any form of healing magic. The third consists character is Meredy and her companion Quickie(a small blue critter that resembles a mutant squirrel with a tail about 50% larger than its body). Just as a side note, Quickie speaks much like a pokemon does, though its seems incapable of using most of the actual letters that makeup its name. It calls itself Kweekie, so which is actually its correct name, I have no idea. Meredy (I might be leaving off an "i" somewhere in there) has come to our heroes world (Inferia, an odd choice of name) from her home of Celestia to inform us that our planets are going to collide, unfortunately she speaks only in Melnics (the game does show them very nicely for you, although they seem to be verbally based on oriental, they are graphically merely some madman's scribble. Eventually you find some earrings that allow you to understand Meredy, and from that point further everyone on Inferia can understand her broken speech (she picks up the speech habits of those around her, so she says "You Bet!" instead of yes, and some other nightmare idioms). Once the language barrier is broken anyone on the face of the planet can understand her. Whether this is because the designers got lazy or because every one except you mysteriously knows Melnics is a mystery to me still. The next oddity of the Namco produced RPG (and you though they didn't make RPGs) is the Wonder Chef. This freak, clevery disguised as household objects throughout Inferia, appears with a roll of music and a flash of light, teaches you a random recipe (which when prepaired (possibly incorrectly, which produces a random miscellanous object instead (don't ask how a failed omletter becomes a powerful crystal shard)) grants an effect such as restored hitpoints or status restoration. I presently have quite a load of pasta, and no pasta using recipes. There is also a black melting pot recipe that mysteriously takes random ingredients and produces a random effect, but I haven't played with that one much for fear of losing my precious 2 tofu.

Time for the post-Christmas postings. Firstly, the first lesson of the weekend is, ironically, lesson 4: If you see a stranger, follow him.

In other news, Halo has been beaten again, this time on Heroic instead of Normal (they go Easy, Normal, Heroic, Legendary for those of you keeping score at home), the damn flood just doesn't want to die. For those of you who've played any Lord of Destruction, think the damn reanimating zomibes (see Flux's #2 (Don't quote me on that) for more on them, maybe, or maybe not, I forget if he included them). But there is no way to prevent these genetic freaks from standing back up, I've tried nearly everything. Smacking their corpses with any weapon handy, massive amounts of grenades. The only solution I have figured out is launching their bodies off a cliff with the propulsive force of serveral plasma grenades.

Metroid Prime is very cool though it feels quite a bit like a Resident Evil clone now. I really am not a fan of 3-D first person conversions to normally 2-D games, but I did like how Zelda changed.

Vice City is very cool though I think I've hit a dead end. I can't figure out how to steal a locked tank from the middle of an armed military convoy. I've blockaded the path but the soldiers just move the cars, run people over yet they fire back with their assault rifles and my car explodes, I've tried grenades, snipering, drive-bys, all to no avail. Well, I'll check GameFAQs and see what I'm missing, more on that later.

I'm worried by HBO. They had someone (some celebrity that whose name I cannot recall), talking about Title 9 and how its destroying mens sports like Gymnastics and Swimming because more men play sports than the relative percentage of women enrolled at the school. That I agreed with, but then I figured it was meant as a satire or joke when the gentleman started saying that "Chicks don't dig lacrosse" or that "Taking these sports (Gymnastics and Swimming still being the only two cited) away from men will create a generation of flabby homosexuals (since when does stretching and not shaving my legs make me homosexual?). Furthermore, he ended by saying that the loss of sports would drive men towards the Church amd "we don't want that, do we?"

Alright, the Christmas Update. I manage to net (what a verb, eh?):
Metroid Prime, Wild Arms 3, Heroes of Might and Magic IV (What a pain of load times), some completely random Playstation RPG, socks (Joy of joys), 4 shirts, a swiss army knife, a watch, a 5 use flashlight (How did I ever survive without one), a paper shredder (cause ever college kid needs one of these), Therion's Deggial, Savatage's Poets and Madmen,and some other miscellanous stuffs.
Factoring the other gifts of my brothers, my electronics are supplimented by an X-Box (holy hell, where did Microsoft get their controller idea, thank freaking God for the X-Box controller S, cause that's the only hope of playing half decent), Halo (Already beat it in team mode with David, nice and rough but not overly so, you get lost rather easy though), Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance, Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Harvest Moon: Back to Nature (Ian's, go figure), Animal Farm (Also Ian's, he thought it was like Harvest Moon although he knew nothing about it. Today in Marketing 101 we learn that if you give it a disguising name some idiot will buy it for no real reason), a Game Boy Advance and Zelda for it, and Resident Evil: Zero. That's the fun of Christmas. Well, back to seeing what humor comes out of HoMMIV (that's a large abbreviation).

Best Phrase so far: Upon entering the arena the master hands your hero a battered wooden shield and nothing else, he then draws a sword and say "try not to get hit." A hour later you hero emerges battered, but having learned a little about defense.

Merry Christmas Eve and Christmas Eve Eve and Christmas Eve Eve Eve, and all the others that I might have missed in my time not touching this computer. Well, no real message yet, tune in at our regularly scheduled time for the, umm, standard programming?

Ok, I've decided that Risk 2210 or whatever just doesn't modify well enough into a more than five round game. Cards cycle too much and eventually you need land cards for so many purposes you could just cycle the same scatter bombs over and over.

On the TSO note from before, apparently they are going to have a concert on "Christmas Eve and Other Stories." Just a cool side note, though I prefer their other songs to that series.

Flux's Dodecahedron is actully decently funny, its not Garwulf, but its still worth reading if you have the knowledge of D2 to get the jokes, actually it doesn't take that much knowledge since my reading has given me the impression that Flux doesn't actually know the game too well, though he does get the really classic idiot in the response Emails. www.diabloii.net

Wohoo, talk about a Christmas gift! The great shirt from Jeff, Mike, and Jiaz. No disclosure about it yet though, if you don't know you don't know. Though take a few looks around SGVY and you'll find it fast enough.

DDR is so much harder than FFR, though both are pretty fun to do. At present, duh, DDR has the better songs, but I trust that FFR's updating capability gives it the needed edge.

Though of the Moment: A wise Samurai always chooses the ugliest blade for its edge is always the sharpest.

I proved the damn Magic 8 Ball wrong, I'm still alive, though I just lost a pint of blood (though I did get the standard free cookies for doing so). Ocean's Eleven is a good movie, well that's subjective. Allow me to just say that I enjoyed it, but that was last night. Today I saw no movies, not even Bond, so I didn't have a lovely conversation with the one other person who'd have been in the theater with me. Sad news, Trans-Siberian Orchestra has ruined Christmas songs for me, I cannot listen to normal Carols anymore, only the TSO ones...

Song of the Moment: Song #3 on Cowboy Bebop Soundtrack disc 2: No Disc.

And in other news http://www.nintendo.com/news/news_articles.jsp?articleID=7847

Wow, I just noticed that I forgot to post my karma blog about Friday the 13, damn. Oh well, it shouldn't be too too terribly long before the next one rolls around. Well, a little under 2 hours before I prove Jeff's magic 8 ball's first prediction wrong. Wow again, Jiaz and Cal, and then Jeff and D'Oraz and even a little bit of Ting, managed to waste most of a day just playing with words back and forth, life doesn't get much more amusing that thinking about that. On a little side note, I hope to create a poem titled "Playing in Traffic." It's very odd for me to start with a title, but hey, maybe a new approach is what I need.

I hate writer's block, its very uncomfortable leaving things unfini

Oh well, another wasted Sunday. Well, pretty much wasted. I did gain quite a bit of proficiency at Flash Flash Revolution despite the terrible processing power of my Athlon. If you've not yet fallen under its sway, the address is www.xqsite.com (a pun for which I give Flash Flash Revolution's creator props; if you don't get it, your loss). Some of those dance mixes are very fun and Aeris is fun to look at (though lasting long enough to enjoy the picture is the difficult part). I had more to this little promotional that wasn't a promotion, but that was before Blogger and my internet decided to derail that little train of thought. Ohh, Classical Flash Flash Revolution, too bad my Athlon can't even register the arrows. Oh well, new computer when I graduate at least.

Ugh. Doing too much too often, hurts. I feel presently that I am about only 3/4ths of my self, the remainder being presently lost to the winds. Hopefully I'll be back to myself before finals, else bad things are to be expected for my grades.

I never thought I'd catch myself saying it. But after an extra hour of work past closing time combined with the injuries netted wrapping, packing, and moving all the holiday gifts of complete strangers I found myself uttering "I hate CHRISTMAS. It was a new level in bad for me, but that's okay, cause I know I don't mean it, at least I won't when the 25th does finally make its way around, though I still don't know what is worth getting. I need to find a good video game reviewer, too much out there and I know none of it. I have a Blockbuster Card, but it expired 2 years ago. As a random note on that, it says the expiration is not valid in California, so if anyone in California can say why, I wouldn't be opposed to sending it cross-country for you to use, still about nine dollars and some cents.

Fun from the Devil's Dictionary for today .
Descartes: a famous philosopher, author of the celebrated dictum, Cogito ergo sum -- whereby he was pleased to suppose he demonstrated the reality of human existence. The dictum might be improved, however, thus: Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.

Lesson for Today: The Exponential Difficulty Theorem
1) It is hard to cut cardboard
2) It is very hard to cut double-walled cardboard
3) It is very very hard to cut wet cardboard
So thus, unfortunately, it follows that:
4) Cutting wet, double-walled cardboard is impossible without a chainsaw or, if you live in an anime, a kendo blade (see the Law of Xylolaceration for details)

Well, I've made it throught the week from hell, though it appears that most of us still need a large amount of time to recover from it. Fortunately, finals are coming.

The music on the new VW Beetle Convertable commercial's music is really pretty addictive.

Music of the moment, Pink Floyd- Dark Side of the Moon.

Wohoo, Tech Acceptance!

And Real Life wins the award for vaguest reference that I still understand: http://www.reallifecomics.com/d/20010220.html


Nope, its not supposed to be a link, you have to copy and paste. Yes, I am that lazy.

Secrets are fun. I like having that glorious little scrap of knowledge than no others are privy too. Its just too damn fun. Woohoo, secrets are the best kind of drug to have. Though really really addictive, they give a very nice high.

Start Rant:

Mr. Palmer has again managed to irk me. Rise my ire as the case may be. I tend to dismiss most of my distaste for this man as typical for First period with a person with too much energy, but twice he has crossed even that line. The first was when he didn't go to Northview's first orchestra concert (Now under the direction of Mr. Aucoin), which he didn't even inform the class was taking place, because "he didn't want to take away from Mr. Aucoin's glory." I say to this, WTF?!?!?!!?!?!?, all you contributed was a Senior violist, and 5 former Freshmen, who had no more talent after having you than before. The second one was a strike on Dr. Holbrook, and his being disorganized. Well, I won't go into details, but suffice to say that Palmer isn't exactly neat either. The man never has anything in the right place ever. Without Elizabeth, Emory, and Sofia, he'd be doomed. Oh well, End rant.

Ah, the joys of living in Georgia. It's great fun telling my long-distance friends how little I have to pay for gas. 98.9 cents with a Kroger Plus card :).

Okay, new rule, no more asking Colin to go places on Sundays, the radio absolutely sucks and my car doesn't have a CD player, so I'm not going anywhere on Sunday. Plus, I'll have the last minute homework to do.

It's now officially December, but I'm too lazy to create a countdown. Hopefully you can all count to 25 without my help. 24 now, but you get idea.

Well, I've survived the meal, though it was close. As usual, my family seemed to totter on the brink fo Civil War. Instead of the usual single huge table, which caused problems because one side would always get all the gravy or butter or biscuits or turkey, we had two seperate tables which did not improve things in the least. We've unfortunately got plenty of leftovers for tomorrow, and I didn't drink enough wine to allow myself to forget yet. I'm presently avoiding LeeAnn Rimes, who is singing for the Dallas vs. Washington halftime show. I hate holidays when I have to do tasks, because instead of giving me a whole list so I can complete them all in one go, I get tasks with very useless amounts of free time in between. Ie:

1-Wake Up, have 10 mins of free time
2-Get conscripted to peel potatoes
3-Have 10 minutes of free time
4-Forced to clean up main kitchen counter
5-Have 5 minutes of free time
6-Asked to straiten up room (although no one is going to see it)
7-Have 15 minutes of free time
8-Set table for family
9-Repeat pattern as nessicary

Happy Turkey day to everyone! Well, on the downside, I've somehow managed to obtain an ulcer inside my cheek, which hurts like all-get-out to do anything with. I've also got a head and nose full of crud. But, those shouldn't slow me down too much, I hope. Fudge is a great way to start a day. I went and watched the second Harry Potter movie yesterday (No, I have not seen the first yet, nor read the series). It felt alot like a bad Scooby Doo episode, I knew absolute none of the characters involved and most of the clues made little or no sense to me. The spider scene had been hyped far more than it really was; the main one didn't even look very spidery though the massive horde was reminicient of Eight-Legged Freaks. The funniest line in the movie was "Why is it always spiders, why couldn't it be follow the butterflies?" The funniest line outside the movies was someone's response to the Delta commercial which ends "What are you waiting for?" To which they responded, "the movie to start," though there was 6 previews before the movie did so. The only good preview was, of course, for "The Two Towers." As a result of seeing Harry Potter, I propose that Celebrity Deathmatch have a fight between Dobby and Jar-Jar Binks, who will both be killed by the audience, and the winner will be declared the Worldwide Movie-Viewing Audience.

I had another of my stupid moments. I finally worked at the same store at the same time as our new employee at MBE. Her name's Emily Greene and she looks like a slightly reduced-size version of Sarah Crawford, though Emily seems a bit more goth (though less introverted than the stereotype would suggest). I can't quite figure her age, since she has Night School Tues and Thurs, yet was driven and recovered by her parents. The stupid thing was, she mentioned that she didn't have school on Wednesday and it took me a full hour to realize that that was not really all so suprising since I don't either.

Revelation of the day: Pinapple Orange as a drink actually does mix kinda well with Pepperoni Pizza Hot Pockets.

Alright, at Jiaz's behest I've decided to do a little talking about cars and drivers:

We'll start with Kyle cause he's got the most interesting vehicular quirk, bad shocks. Ok, so maybe that's not a true mechanic's evalutation, but that's okay, cause it gets the point across. The "feature" is much more noticable when stopped. Other than that, it does have a CD player (yay), though there is a lot of interior and exterior random damage, but none of that can be attributed to Kyle, who is a decent driver based on my experiences, though its really hard to feel at easy in a car that seems to always be bouncing.

Cindy: Who gets her own little header thing just cause she's special like that, has a car which she drives far faster than I'd like, but that might be because I'm used to trying to burn rubber in an '89 minivan which doesn't, shall we say, exactly stop on a dime. She's not exactly a safe driver, the distractable sort would be a good classification, but her vehicle is always clean and shiny, and also has a CD player (yay again).

Jia Jia's car isn't anything special in and of itself, but as usual its his personal touches that make the style. The sound system in his car is loud, greatly programmable, and has a little remote control (Anime smile [I'd do one, but he's got exclusive rights to them]). I didn't really bother to check out what other tweaking had occured, since I had work to get to so if he ever lets me inside his vehicle again I'll post about the rest of his equipment.

This brings us to Mike's car. Firstly its sporty, its Red its abso-fscking-lutely tiny. I mean, Mike is probally 145% of Cindy's size, and his car has probally 70% of the leg room. Don't get me started about the low head clearance. Sorry, this was going to be slightly longer, but Ian has decided to watch the Nickelodeon Barbie Rapunzel movie, I think I've just lost some 600 odd brain cells in an instant.

It's quite amazing how changing the language of a game can make it nearly impossible to comprehend. I was watching our one female Freshman in Symphonic Orchestra (Or whatever we've taken to calling it) who is, this ought not to come as a large suprise, asian (Christina Sung for those who are keeping count) and her coterie (one of the best words ever) were playing some game involving loud shouting and , which I was later informed by Elizabeth (What would we do without her) was just a simple rhythm and memory game. Apparently the food Tim brought was supposed to be opened before being eaten. I do concede that it was beans, but still... no, there really isn't a plea for me being stupid. The sickness is spreading. Which Mike has recovered, Helen and Elizabeth has both fallen ill and some others aren't doing quite so well either. Well, here's to the health of those of us who have it and a prayer that we might keep it. I learned that HTML colors are coded in RGB combined with HEX! Now Black=FFFFFF makes a ton more sense, now to beat the logic behind Hex out of Mike. Hmm, I can't do my standard Evil Grin maneuver because it'll get registered as bad HTML, time to figure out the escape function for brackets...

Sometimes I read through all my AIM logs and present messages and wonder if grammar and spelling and punctuation and capitalization are dying; that is seriously a scary thought...

Sorry about the sparse choppy posts, I promise I'll try and combine a great idea with free posting time someday soon.

Well, listening to all the damn debaters at the tournament on Saturday almost got me wanting to do it, but its so inferior to Academic Bowl. I mean, for Debate we went to West Georgia college, stayed in a crappy hotel, and shelled out $50. For Academic Bowl to go to Ezell-Harding Tennesse, it was $15, same number of people per room, continental breakfast, and the ride was much more fun. Sometimes you have to wonder why Debate thinks they have the advantage. And plus, I don't have to wear a tie for Academic Bowl.

Not having wheels is such a terrible thing. I hate not being able to drive again, it is absolutely terrible. Well, not much else I can say is there? Its just not cool having a dead car.

My D&D Journal (Slogan: Hell was I ever bored), is now up, well, the beginning at least. Find it by adding a D after the Sobiius in the web address at the top.

Well. I did my forensic league duty and helped out at the Cougar Classic CHS Debate Tournament. I got the "honor" of judging middle schoolers. I'd be lying if I said it was enjoyable, but I'm not going to bore anyone. Apparently Mr. Smiley was going Nazi on my colleages who decided that since the Middle School rounds (our one and only task) were finished we could leave. Well, Smiley went beserk at this sentiment and made us get permission from Mrs. Jolle (who was quite through with need of us). Well, I avoided the issue my way, I just walked out and didn't ask Smiley. If I get in trouble, so be it. Debate isn't a major concern of mine.

The Joys of Work

Irregardless of how it all boiled down, work on Saturday was Hell. I started by going to the Old Store (1556) and got redirected to the New Store (4342) to work on a, and I do quote, "Huge Copy Job." Here's where the fun starts. I leave the store and am at the edge of the shopping center to pull out on State Bridge. I look left and see 2 cars, both in the farthest lane (Actually, lets designate these Frogger-style. So the lanes are 1-4 and start with the closest one to me as 1 and work out from there). So I look left and see 2 cars, both in Lane 4. I look right and see two cars. One is off in the distances tons tons is a truck in Lane 2. A slight bit closer is a car in Lane 1 with her Left Turn Signal on (yes, I'm sure it was a her, you'll see why in a moment). Since the only car even remotely close to me plans to be turning in and away from me, I pull out. I'm slightly before Lane 3 (Ie: in the median between Lanes 2 and 3, but also in LAne 2). I'm looking right to make sure that I don't pull out into on of the cars from Lane 4 since they might possibly have merged over. I look back to my left and see the Lady in her car, not only not turning, but in Lane 2 AND trying to pull around me on her left (aka: my front). That's right reader, not only did she not turn, but she also, in response to my pulling out, moved into the same lane I moved into rather than slowing down (since by the time she got near me, I had already moved through Lane 1 leaving it clear for this maniac), and worse still, she had decided to pull around me in the direction I was moving (last time I checked that would be the stupidest thing possible, but oh well, people are idiots. So I figure that had I kept going she easily would have hit me dead on in the Driver's Side door, going at least 60 (since to get to me that fast she could not have been going the speed limit), so I figured during my time of tedium at Work (we'll get there in a moment) that that was hopefully as close to death as I was going to get for awhile.

Now, of course the fun does end there. I drive down State Bridge, and get stuck in traffic (extraordinarily slow traffic, with some maniac trying to pass cause they are in a hurry, when they realize that there is not going to be any second lane in a few more yards they hastily merge in, and in doing so, cut me off. I almost get to the Intersection of State with Kimball/Abbotts, but I'm like 4 cars back, which is 2 cars before the last turn in to the shopping center before the intersection. So as I'm sitting there, this car just stops, and the driver, a girl of roughly 19-20 years, just glares at me. It wasn't a glance or a stare, it was a searching and angry look. Now I still cannot figure out what she was hoping to achieve, because she had enough room to drive, and beond that I can't think of anything she could be angry about, since I'm fairly certain that she was younger than the femine idiot in our first traffic catastrophe, though it would be keeping in her IQ to turn around just to give an angry glace (if I get called to court then oh well, cause I was not at fault). So I finially arrive at work, somewhat shaken, but ready to do some copies (which is mostly a waiting game). Well, the copies had already been done, so all that was left to do was take the resulting 2744 sets of copies (each were 2 pages, triple-folded, and stapled), place them each inside their own envelopes (though all the copies were kinda stuck together), then to place an Adobe label on each of the envelopes (though about 1/70 lacked a zip code so we had to check for those). Fortunately I didn't have to do the full 2744 alone. My manager and (eventually) his fiancee were there to help, and poor Ting had done a significat amount of envelopping yesterday while she was at work. So, after a freaking six hours we finially finished the madness, and I went back to 1556 to finish out my last hour of work, sometimes I wish I had more room on my Work during the school year section to talk about this type of dedication.

Why can no one ever get my name right? I am constantly called, Josh, Ian, and Kyle. It's really something that is more of a minor annoyance than something worthy of a full-blown rant, but there are moments when it's really really terrible. Like when someone berates me for not responding after they shout something other than my name at me. I've gotten used to responding to BFG, I was used to responding to JC, I even responded to Norm for awhile (though I can prove that I sound quite different from the gentleman). I kinda have the height of Josh, I work with Kyle and Ian, but are those really fair mistakes? I don't claim to be perfect; honestly I've had many many difficulties with the trio of Veronica, Victoria, and Virginia, but there I think I have an excuse since they are all so similar. Uh oh, customer...to be continued...

Hmmm. I was here lamenting my limited HTML coding skills, since I wanted to do something to spruce (isn't that such a cool verb) this place up, but of course I haven't the vision nor the ability to do so. I was going to check out the getting started part of the Blogger Forum, but of couse that happens to be down at the moment, because of bad coding nonetheless (Which I think is Irony, though it might not be, I'll have to consult the sheet that Scher gave us). I'm really disappointed in the depth of the Orange that Blogger generates, since all the tabs for Previewing, Safe mode, Publishing, are a deeper Orange than the font color. And the Blogger symbol itself is deeper than even those. I wonder if I could find a HTML site somewhere that has some nice things I can add. Since I have very little use for what I do know. This is something, but it's not really fantastic, and beyond this and images and weblinks, I've exceeded my knowledge base on this subject. . But, I plan to experiment and thus get better, so, perhaps in a few years this will be a pretty place to visit.

Well. Happy Halloween to everyone. Not that it's really much of an event, but it's still a reason to celebrate. It's kinda eerie celebrating the eve of a holiday, but we do the same on December 24. Again I have neither a costume nor plans, nor do I really even care. Fun on this holiday is scaring the living daylights of out people and the occasional obscure candy you get for your travels. All Saint's Eve. Now that's a much cooler name than Halloween. I mean, "ween" is such a pitiful sound to add to any word. All Saint's Eve is just soo much cooler, if only I knew any of the Saints, but thats a inquiry for later. May your candy be plentiful and your travels safe.

Daylight Savings Time Celebration, Part 2:

I seem to be stuck in a paradox. My mother wants me to complete my applications this weekend, and has threatened that I will not be allowed to go to school if I do not finish. I have written all the required essays and short answers, filled in all the info for everything else, and submitted my transcript. The issue here, and the paradox thereof, is that have neither submitted my SAT scores to UGA nor have I put in my teacher part of the deal. The paradox being that I can't finish without going to school, and cannot go to school without finishing. So if I'm not there on Monday, that's why. I asked why she wanted me to submit to UGA, and she told me because if I did decided to take the path of a musician. Please note that this is the same woman who tells me that I will not be going into music as a major activity. Sigh, ranting isn't worth the effort at the moment, since I really don't understand everything myself. But that would happen to be life sometimes.

Daylight Savings Time Celebration, Part 1:

Yay! I got 8 hours of sleep before today (Saturday today, not the actual Sunday Today) and then a nice 3-4 hour nap, all that to balance out the extra hour I'll be around thanks to Daylight Savings time regressing. Speaking of regression...while that would be the perfect Freud transition, no one wants to see me stereotyping Freud this late/early, or ever for that matter.
Onwards to something slightly more interesting: all that which Michael D'Orazio has wrought. Note the lack of a decisive noun, since I can't think of whether it should be called good, or evil, or whatnot; futhermore, there'd be arguement anyways.

Firstly is the power of Dvorack. For those of you that don't know what Dvorack is, it's a different keyboard setting. For example, asdfg in Qwerty (the standard: eg. What you're using right now) coincides with the vowels aieuo in Dvorack (though not nessicarily in that order). The thought behind this is that in Dvorack, common spelling errors like the, of, etc. are made far less often, and in general words can be typed alot faster. Honesty, how many times have you hit v, x, or even z while trying to get to c buried between them. So as you can, there is great style in Dvorack, though you have to learn in before it makes any sense at all.

While Dvorack in itself may seem fairly harmless enough, but what it created is the truer evil: Dvorak. The difference made by that one letter is a great one. While Dvorack is a keyboard typeset, Dvorak is a completely freelance card game. The rules of Dvorak are really simple: There are two types of cards: actions and things. You can play one of each, each round. A round starts with drawing a card, and ends with discarding down to 5 cards if you have more. It gets more complicated from there, but what it boils down to is that you can always be creating new cards and new rules, as long as there is group consensus, in an effort to win game. Winning, in itself, is fully subjective as well, since the terms for winning can be decided by the cards as well.

Some random poetry:

What makes us real is not some existencial quality like thought or breath
It is our immunity to that which unmakes the unreal:
We are not the ones who disappear when we walk away from the mirror.

We are not defined by those acts that we perform nor the friends that we have
It is the acts we cannot do and the friends we don't make that are our limits:
It is not the furniture, it is the walls, that makes a room.

Our nationality is not shown in the slant of our eyes, the sound of our words, or the color of our epidermis
It is revealed by our prejudices and shortcomings, watered down imperialism
Any nation is a hegemon in the mind of its citizens.

We style ourselves as humans first and kingdom animalia last
Ironic that we purposefully invert our precious leaned sciences to please ourselves.
It is in man's nature to deny the nature in man.

A Symphony of Mishaps

Well, the orchestra concert was this night and while both orchestras sounded awesome (Symphony too), there were some things that could have gone better:
1) I'm in the restroom changing into my tux, when suddenly I realize that I don't have my pants. Now it's like 20 mins until I have to be somewhere, so I jet home and still can't find them. So I throw on a dark pair that's as close as I'm going to get. For reference, they were in my closet, I just for some reason couldn't find them.
2) The stage was hot and bright. You could barely see the conductor, and it was really really really hot.
3) My bow was cracked before the concert. After Sinfonietta got through and I got my bow, it was in really bad shape. And during the second to last song it broke, leaving me bowless. So I had to dash as fast as I could back to the Orchestra room to get another, which had no rosin on it anyways so it wasn't making much more noise than I would have without a bow. This process of course left me winded, since I was running really fast and I have no endurance.
Beyond these little incidents, it was a good performance at least. Though we did rush our last string piece to an extreme tempo, but that's typical of us.

And it continues some more...

Sorry for my obvious lack of topical diversity, but I had to do something to prevent me from finishing Heart of Darkness or working on Calculus. After working strait through Saturday on non-academic stuff I just didn't have the motive to expend any really productive effort. I played LoD instead. My complaints still exist, though I have found some redeeming features that will be mentioned after the non-redeeming ones. First on the complaints is that I seem to be spending an awful lot of time preparing for parties and banquets. I never really considered that to be much of an activity, esp. since you don't change clothes ever and since I you never get any close-ups so makeup wouldn't matter. The love story's pretty sappy too, though there was a really cool cinematic involving a lost love. The musical score could still seriously use some work. And the game of storyline tag on the boat sucked. Here's the tag run-down. You start as the femle lead, who goes hunting male lead, who in turn seeks the myserious female counsellor who knows more than anyone else, who then seeks the aged, questing martial artist, who in turn begins looking for the powerful giant who starts trying to find the generic king traveling with the heroes who then goes to seek the immature female warrior who then goes and gets the male lead then both go hunting the mysterious female again, whereupon you find a ghost ship. The body count is suprisingly high for a RPG. I have not yet fought any enemy twice and still had them walk away except the Barbarian who is now a member of my party. The other cutesy little thing is that perspective affects a few things. The female lead sees a spice rack as "You see 20 spices at a glance, someone likes cooking" whereas the male lead sees the same wall as "You see lots of bottles." Anyways, today I defeated a dishonored bandit who was also kicked out of his martial arts training by none other than our questing martial artist and his thief sidekick (who has the RPG-banned abilities of both being unhittable (literally, he teleports out of battle except to hit you) and of having a reusable, remove-from-battle attack (which is precisely what Sephiroth did to Aeris, since remove-from-battle prevents the use of recovery magic). Speaking of magic, only in a dragoon state do you get it, unless you're the enemy who can cast it whenever, wherever, you get the idea. Which brings us to the next in my list of kills, the jetpacked female energy-boomerang weilder who then returns as a water Dragoon with a water dragon (easier than it sounds). Apparently, those not in the party get a mere 1/3 of the exp of those in party (though those who are not alive when the battle ends get 0). I also fought a pack of ghost knights (4 regular at ~300 hp, and their leader ~1000 hp) who revived when it was their turn if they were dead unless they all collapsed. So between that and their sleep, fear (no defense), life-drain, heavy combat damage, and the fact that I ran out of mp, it was nearly a loss. Which would not have been cool cause the damn ghost ship has no save point and it takes about 10 minutes not including the 30 or so battles from all the nearby enemies everywhere to get to that fight, but we pulled it out thanks to some heavy combined Dragoon firepower after using a MP restoring item. Speaking of items, the game lets you carry a max of 200 something weapons/armor/accesories (which you never find and rarely can buy a better one) but only 32 items of any nature. The attack items are usually a waste of effort but the mass area pumpables (everything involves button mashing in this game) can do some damage to weak enemies en masse I've gotten the hang of both of Lavitz's additions, I can pull off Spinning Typhoon (3 presses) with decent accuracy as well as the Wind Dance or whatever its called (6 adds). Though, unfortunately, both of my other two favorite heroes have reached their equivelents which I have yet to get the hang of: Dart (what a horrible name) with his Maddened Hero (what a horrible name too: 5 buttons, all really fast one-after-another) and Rose with some similar 5 button attack with a massive pause in the middle. But now it's time to see if I can makeup some stuff for the French debate of wars without using RPG quotes ("Humans have to make themselves insane to fight, and really insane to make war (LoD is not a good choice for quotes)) and finish the last 60 pages of Heart of Darkness with some degree of fact recollection.

As promised, the Legends of Dragoon Rant continues...

Apparently Sony does not know how to properly go "back to the basics," cause their fundamentals are very lacking in some areas. Don't get me wrong, they did do some things right. They got the same hint that Squaresoft got after Final Fantasy 8, that gamers don't need a freaking 5 minute animation ever time they summon, no matter how much damage it does. Even still, the animations are still painfully long, though its more of a slight burn as opposed to the red-hot poker jammed into the gamer's eye that was the load/wait/animation time on Eden. The "innovative battle concept" (okay, maybe that's paraphrasing) of LoD is that you can perform what are called 'Additions.' Which mean, if you press the X button at the right time(s), you can do a cute little combo whereby your character gains a bit more SP (which are how you turn into a Dragoon) than often and (in true anime style) shout the combo's name. Now the cute part of this is that you don't start with Dragoon powers, meaning that SP aren't really useful (ie: they're worthless). The other fun fact is that the game's major female, who it appears is in love with our intrepid hero, Dart, doesn't even have any additions to begin with. She just shoots a single arrow, and for very little damage. The final great irony is that all these combo's have their own rhythms, and in the case of the party's spearman, that rhythm isn't very constant. Well, it's constant in a way. You start with Lavitz, who has a nice slow combo rhythm, and then he gets replaced by Alfred, whose additions (while being the same one's as Lavitz's) require the same kind of inhuman reflexes that can be aquired only after a month of DDR training. As if the little Addition concept wasn't bad enough, enemies can break your combo's. To do this, all the enemy has to do is make a little red flash, and then you have to press O instead of X. Fail to do so and your combo will break And you'll take damage. Which is a great way to get killed, since you effectively get hit twice for the price of one enemy attack. Dragoons are nearly as much fun (fun in the sadist's way of thinking mind you) since their attack strength is set by hitting X at a certain moment, with decreasingly long intervals between them. I had to press less buttons playing Kirby Golf for God's sake. Fortunately, after Final Fantasies Six and Ten, button combos are a forte of mine, but the average gamer will be hard pressed to pull them off, and thus very challenged to win any battle. Well, it's decent for a first attempt at an RPG, but sometimes I have to wonder what Nintendo and Sega know that Sony doesn't.

Mommy, Mommy, can I go save the world now?

Sony should not be allowed to make RPG's. I would have found that fact out a long time ago, but thankfully I prevented myself from playing much of Legends of Dragoon, until now. My mistake was a product of great boredom, and quite a bit of desperation (with a lot of stupidity obviously included). I've gotten to the point where my "Dragoon" power (basically the only way you have a glimmer of hope of beating a boss) was stolen by some thief leader that I was trying to kill. Apparently I keep this very valuable sphere of power stored in the very tip of my sword from some inexplicable reason. Nonetheless, to go where they've taken my power, I have to get a pass from the King, and I need to get someone to vouch for me to get to see the King. For once I find myself not only taking other people's tasks upon myself, but also having to ask for the permission to do them. I don't recall having to ask the Mayor if I could help the old lady across the street back when I was in Boy Scouts. Oh well, there'll be more rantage on this game at a later point.

Alright. Today we cover the topic of *Cue Trumpets* Online Comics. Most of these can be found with a simple Google? search and I'm too lazy to copy and paste hyperlinks, so, yeah. I think I'll do a 5 star rating system to compensate from my chronic lack of postage.

First in the list of randomly order is Little Gamers: A very random, some profanity, about a group of guys (I think that number is 4 but I could easily be mistaken) with tons of references to video gaming and computers. Nothing complex, so anyone could enjoy it with just basic knowledge, but it's really not all that funny. The art isn't much to look at, plain black and white simple figures, with an occasional color image. Some shining moments but mostly just random stupidity. ***(3 stars)

8-Bit Theater: This comic requires a decent background in the Final Fantasy series to understand as well as passing knowledge in Dungeons and Dragons and minor knowledge in Warcraft as well (well, all of 3 strips I think). It's a bit light on speed of action, but not that you'd ever notice since the humor covers that well and there are never any non-comic days, so yay to that as well. The art is mostly refined 8-bit sprites, but remember that those are 8-bit Final Fantasy sprites so it's not nearly as grievious. *****

Dragon Warrior: You don't actually have to understand Dragon Warrior at all though it helps with the inside references. This is basically the Dragon Warrior version of Final Fantasy. For the unenlightened in my audience, Dragon Warrior was, errr... is, a long running RPG famous for having slimes as the basic enemy (Final Fantasy doesn't have slimes, go figure). It's famous for other things as well, but not having played it I'd hate to speak without authority. Never an off-topic day. Appropriate and cool 8-Bit sprites here as well. ****+(*/2), anyone who has a better way to do half a star, please tell me.

Angst Technology: This comic is updated daily, and it's brother comic Weakend Warrior not nearly as often. The first is a computer gaming company comic and is great as long as you are versed in the latest releases. The latter is a fantastic paintballing comic that even I appreciate despite never having gone paintballing. Both are black and white, but they rarely have any dead-artist days, and never have shirt guy dom (more on him later), so yay. ***+(*/2)

RPG World/Adventurers: Yes, these are seperate comics, but so similar that I've decided to save space and group them together. These basically take Final Fantasy (the later, as opposed to 8-bit) and make fun of their logical fallicies in every way gamers have wanted to, ever. Wonderful, color art, but unless you've played some RPG's there isn't to much reason. Well, even then you'll side with the characters who don't understand RPG mechanics either. Best when taken with the List of RPG cliches sitting on another Internet window. *****

Exploitation Now: Now a dead comic, but still worth the intrest. Very graphic and often profane. It starts off far more random and hits plot more occasionally towards the end. It's a bunch of creepy sci-fi Deus Ex Machina, but still it's worth a look. Some great jokes throughout and some running gags. Requires a wide versing of random knowledge with specialization in anime conventions (see the Laws of Anime for reference). All black and white but very well drawn, too bad it has stopped. ****

Sparkling Generation Valkerie Yuuki: Kitty-Hawk's replacement comic for The Jar, which I quite a pity, but even extending a mere dozen-pages, it's worth its weight in gold. Not much knowledge needed yet, though versing in North Mythology and Magical Anime Girls (read: Sailor Moon) is fun. Large, lush, and full-color. *****

Bob and George: Another of the comics that have the quanity over quality slogan. A daily comic that doesn't seem to have a plot that alternates between badly drawn scanned images and awesome Megaman 8-bit (and higher, and modified versions) sprites. The Megaman is funny, and not really Megaman specific, but it's not much to write home about. **+(*/2)

Not Gonna Take It: A really weird hand-drawn comic that is sometimes in color, sometimes not. It's good art but after awhile all the characters really really start all looking the same. Sometimes I'm lucky if I ever get the gender of the person down before a pronoun rolls around. It's a good story-driven plot, but it is also really invested in the paranormal. It's like the X-files plus Dawson's Creek, played out by bipedial cats. And it devolves into furry sex a bit too often. Worse, there's a huge like 4 or 5 month block where no comics got done. ***

Mac Hall: As Duke Nukem liked to say "Hail to the King, baby". Mac Hall is a comic about college life and it's bust-a-gust (not to be confused with either Bust-a-Move? or Bust-a-Groove?) funny. It's full color with tons of great jokes. While there's not much of a storyline there are extended comics and the whole thing does tie together pretty well. *****

Critical Fumble: This comic requires quite a bit of skill. From trying to read the randomly included weird fonts (or the drunken british style Dwarves) to the required Dungeons and Dragons/RPG knowledge that is entailed. All done in color with really cool Capcom? sprites that I still haven't found the source for. A working plot, if a bit random. ****

Oldskooled: A comic done for those of us who still remember nearly every NES game there ever ways. Both the really obscure and the mainstream (if any of those can still legally be called that). A fabulous use of sprites though it hasn't been updated in quite some time. Try the trivia and see how sad your childhood really was. ***

Wendy: I read this at work cause I was bored one day. It seems to gain a plot near the end, which hurts its best qualities, which happen to be cute girls who have a habit of doing sexual things both on and offstage. Never any of the graphicness of Exploitation Now, but this is a comic made for people like Jeff and Brent. A real pity it tries to do something at the end, and goes black and white doing so. ***

Life of Riley: Another of das uber comics. This one really doesn't need background, it explains itself as it goes, or at least explains as much as you need. Great drawings, though also very Deus Ex Machina at times. It's kinda cliffhanger at some parts right now, but time will fix that. ****+(*/2)

Megatokyo: This deserves seven or eight stars really. It's fabulously drawn, intriguing, great plot, humorous. Cute anime-style girls and totally random events for Largo. There is the danger, as with all intensely good comics, of Stick Guy Dom, who also did stand-ins at The Jar. All I can say is be very afraid, but read the comic anyways. I'll stop myself at that, else this could run on forever. *****

A pox on Nintendo, and their children, and their children's children; no one should be allowed to create such addictive games. I was going to do a happy Birthday post, but then I made the mistake of doing a tournament of 64 players against my brother. With 4 minute rounds, not counting victory time and sudden deaths, so it was well into today before we finished, especially since we started at about quarter till midnight (Tis the witching hour, curses are half price).

America, Home of Required Freedom and Land of the Poorly created Govermental Forms. No, I'm not whining about tax forms, it's a given that those are ridiculously complex. Nope, I'm talking about the Selective Service! Yes, that happy little green and white form of basic info that all males between 18 and 25 must fill out or be charged with a felony punishable with "$250,000 in fines, up to 5 years imprisonment, or both." Scary, no? Well, what is getting to me is the registering website's first question, check it out for yourself at https://www4.sss.gov/regver/register_nc.asp
is gender, followed quickly by a note stating that "current law does not permit females to register." So I'm sitting here wondering why they even ask the damn question in the first place if there is only one legal answer. Sigh. I also got my Voter Registration Card today, so now I can participate in elections which may, or may not, be a good thing; for further info please reference the long discussion had by Mr. Gray, Michelle Li, and Julie Ceigler in Mr. Gray's car on the way back from Academic Bowl at Ezell-Harding. Anyways, back to the selective service. The second question is First/Middle Name. Ambiguity is apparently the Goverment's strong point here. Plus, the draft is kinda common knowledge. At least the date is better than the example on the Mailed card; January First 1998, which becomes 01-01-1998. But 01 for Month could easily be the 01 for date. Sometimes I get really worried by the idiots behind our Government, then I see Bush on TV and things just go downhill from there. Note the bottom question: "How did you find out about this registration?" Well, considering that it's a manditory service and they mail you this happy green and white card with a PIN number, which doesn't seem to be used either, I don't see why that question is there either. Notwithstanding that arguement, I'm debating what answer to put there, I can rule out common sense cause it's not there, so I think I'll go with parent to humor them. There, I'm done and my PIN was never used. How not suprising. Say hello to 84 - 0962048 - 4, aka: me. This was so sad, I think I'm going to go cry. But remember, it's never the smart people who do politics.

It's irritating being bored; it's worse when you owned anti-boredum methods but do so no longer. If that statement made no sense, be glad you're an only child. Siblings are such major hassles, in my case, especially for the afformentioned reasons. Not counting the stuff they own(ed) that they can't find, here's the incomplete list of stuff I own(ed) and can't find. It's odd being bored enough to rant about what has caused me to be bored, but no where in the agreement I signed to get this chunk of web-space did I agree to make sense.
SNES- A good system, damn good still.
1) Wario Woods the best damn Puzzle game until Tetris Attack was created).
2) Final Fantasy III which is probally worth something these days, on top of the fact that I Love the game and can no longer play it. Both of these two are still with an girl who's now about 5-8 ex-girlfriends of my brother's in the past (depending on how you count repeats)
3) Bomberman -das uber party game, just ask Edmund. Far superior to Bomberman 2 which I do somehow have. The location of this one is still a mystery to me, though Ian is to blame for it's disappearance.
N64- Why did I ever buy this system anyways?
1) Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask - another awesome game that somehow Ian has made vanish, he's got a talent for doing that and I can't wait till I'm off as far away as possible from it.
Playstation-Now this is a worthy system, though it's got a crapload of unworthy games.
1) Front Mission 3- I've kept a tight reign on my games here, since they are far more fragile than the bulky console Nintendo crap ones. But I still lost this one. A fantastic RPG, and to make the loss much greater, one of great rarity (aka: hard to find and costly) and, even worse, I hadn't even beaten it yet!!! David's fault on this one, he doesn't have an answer to my asking of "where?"
CPU- System of the Shooter and RTS Gods, if only mine wasn't crap.
1) Red Faction- Hell yes to Geo-Mod? Technology. No more worrying about the damn red key, just blow a hole in the nearby wall. Not a very stable Multiplayer, but even those who cheat suck pretty badly. Hanging in the air so you can drop more rockets in a single jump is a nifty little hack, but it's just asking for a return rocket at the unmoving fool. David's to blame here as well, though alledgedly he at least "knows" where it's supposed to be.
2) Star Craft:Brood Wars- Should be somewhere in the house even, but Ian still managed to lose it when he took it out of the drive to put in the D&D 3rd edition character creator software CD (a major load of crap, but at least it's free crap when you buy the Player's Handbook). The whole Fscking fiasco is made worse because he put the disc in an AOL free disk metal tin instead of its own little nice CD case (which was right there) and because of the blasphemy he created. Warning, D&D related info incoming He was supposed to make a 1st level char. He instead made a Paly(1)/Wiz(1) w/ Cmbt casting and Wep Prof(Net) with 10,10,11,16,10,10 stats wearing full plate and dual weilding a gauntlet and a dart. Now of course he cannot find my precious Brood Wars, which is my sanity since I can't get a War III fix on my CrapAthalon 600.

?/?/02 My Powers of Information Evasion. Rant 02

Isn't technology wonderful? Thanks to it, any news is capable of being relayed through word of mouth, notes, announcements, television, radio, television, IM, Email, and everything else. Yet despite all this I manage to NEVER! learn anything until either the last minute, the minute of, or when it's too late. Case in point: National Honors Society. My Junior year I learned that the info was due at about, ohhh, about a week after they were due. Senior year I tried harder, got the info sooner. This time it was only the day that it was due. Deadlines aren't the only thing I never seem to know about. I've gotten tons and tons of phone where some friend or classmate of mine will demand irritably, "where are you?", inquisitioning me as to why I am not at some function or another, which I had not been informed of before this date. Or, as far more is the case, I will know the vaguest details of the event. For example, I'll be told what, and in some cases (rare indeed) even the where of the event, but not told when until perhaps 20 minutes before, and usually during some other constraining event, like dinner or relatives (see Rant #I). Sadly, this type of last minute notification also tends to run parallel to the fact that I'm rarely wanted to be in only one place. I rarely have any form of event to attend, save from a semi-regular work schedule, yet when an event surfaces, it often lies in driect conflict with at least one other event. So I'll go from having a free weekend to having four different places I need to be, and although each is probally less than a few hours long, they will invariably all overlap. Which makes being me soo much less amusing and so much more work. I'd really, honestly love to be in more than one place at once, but physics seems to be in stark opposition to that concept, and honest if I were gonna break a law of physics it'd be so I could fly; cause traffic sucks.

9/25/02 10:35 - Almost a Rant, so we'll call it Rant # 1.5

Ahh, the glory that is West Wing. The wonders of moving events. Television shows, September 11, all the other sorrows and triumphs of human spirit and will clashing with the concepts of a formless malevolence. Every Goddamn thing seems to elict emotion in me these days. I'm so unstable. Hell, I was fighting back tears while watching Fantasia 2000! There isn't anything in there 'cept unbelievably lovely music tearing at my heart. Everything is demolishing my stablility. My circle of friends seems to be growing without me, dragging those close away and building a whole labyrinth of intrigue in its wake. I don't seem to connect with anyone anymore, or those that I do get even near their wavelength are too much drawn into their own issues and difficulties that I benefit none, nor do they. It sucks not being able to help people. Then we have the other issues weighing on me. My total lack of motivation. My evasion of nearly all info relevent to my life (more on this topic in Rant II, coming soon). Old friends are now distant new friends have their own circles, and I am left still without a girl. Isn't it great when you get told way way way after te fact that someone liked you, but are too pissed that you never reciprocated that they don't anymore. I always want to be like, I'm sorry I didn't see this cached amour but I usually have 1000's of things on my mine, please be a little more blatant with me, cause my record is less than perfect. I mean, the ones I do know I flirt with I'm not certain to what extent they reverb my feelings nor how well I'd ever be able to mesh with their own fscking circle. Friends are such obstacles sometimes. Then there's the ever-present issues of my brother and his problems, of which I know too little about to do anything 'cept cause harm, and too much to not worry. Plus his involvement in Debate does not mesh well with my Pure Unabsolved HATE of all things debate related. I seem to have totally diverged from the beginning topic here, but that's ok, because that's how I feel right now; off course and lost.

Perhaps emotional stability is overrated.

1/1/02 - Not an Auspicious Start (5:11 PM)

Ahh, that all too familiar feeling. The white-hot, dark, boiling rage that flows up from within and heightens my volume and possesses my tongue. But not the dramatic emphasis of the melodramatic bardic prose but rather the darker side of speech. It's not truly a massive injustice but I've been stripped of my friends of all of my gaming friends (gathered together in total for the first time in several months) to visit and dine with family who I have seen about thirty times too many in the past month of so. Those two components are aggravating, but to further elevate my rage, my infernal tormentor and antagonist (as well as, I concede, protector and genesis) tried to reverse the blame with "If only you had had your cell phone on, we could have called and you could have said no." AS IF! We all know that even if I had said no, the response would've been "too bad, you're going anyways." And I had mentioned negatively beforehand towards the notion of more family time. In fact anyone who couldn't see that I, or my brother, were sick of togetherness is a complete moron who has no perception and even less capability to reason at all! So here I set, distancing myself in the parlor, storehouse of fragile memories, and drink the only thing I could find. A pitiful concoction of that is one part diet ginger ale and two parts flat root beer. The rage has now had more than half an hour for its slow burn to encompass, singe, and pass through and beyond my total being. The aftermath is never pretty. But what can I do to vent?! Nothing! I don't have something to beat upon, my darker words cause only scorn upon myself and further taint to my muse spirit. I have no one to hold me and lend me sweet nothings in an airy voice to be returned tenfold by myself unto when mine own heart for such words has lost its present ailment. And to elevate this entire substantiation to the next level of tension, no one has gotten much sleep. A fact which my mother feels the need to inform everyone of. Gah, this drink tastes awful, and I bet the diet ingredients are just a further material poison to add to all the other maledictions wreaked upon my body, mind, and soul. And the fantastic top of the cake is that my Learner's permit has expired because for some interesting reason the Fscking DMV's permit's Until entry doesn?t represent when it expires but the Expired entry does. Now, what can't be understood by the mere explanation there is that the whole apparently useless Until entry is bolded in huge letters at the bottom of the card while the vital Expired entry is a tiny mark that is very subtle and totally inconspicuous. I'm no longer even reading what I write to see if what I write even parallels what I want to say. I'm too tired and too fscking tense to pay any mind at all. So instead I need to find a way to unleash this as perhaps a warning to others that today or tomorrow I am volatile or perhaps as a memento to myself so I can recall...recall what? Oh I surrender. I am not even thinking strait even longer. White and black are no longer even minor distinctions. I've too much a burden through my own procrastination and self internment of emotions and too often borne witness to the trials of those around me to even hope to rid myself of the cross that I bear. Ah, what I'd give...to just sluff this weight of emotions and rebirth myself in a cold and heartless world where lust replaces love and the 7 deadly sins replace the 10 commandments. There's more but I shan't let my pitiful self- burden others further at the present.